The sensation washes over me as soon as my sleepy eyes open. A mixed emotion of desire, anxiety and slight disappointment in knowing I’m not there yet– I’m not where I want to be in life.
This feeling never really goes away and although I enjoy life, I have this horrible awareness of failure. I have an uncontrollable desire to be, do and have more and because of this I feel dissatisfied.
Desire is what fuels me every single day, it’s what keeps me from going insane; keeps me from giving up and going to find a ‘real’ job.